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littlebluedog
littlebluedog
Tim
Thursday, April 10th, 2008 02:36 pm
PROTIP

To earnest dude with binder on downtown street corner:

Wide-eyed, impressionable, easily beguiled townie casually strolling the sidewalk, preferably with his wallet open in his hands: THIS is your mark. Make eye contact and smile; position yourself in his path and affably offer a handshake. He wants to save the children.

Steel-eyed, implacable, determined man in casual business attire barreling toward you at three-quarter tilt to catch his bus: this is NOT your mark. DO NOT position yourself in his path and begin nonchalantly mumbling your shpiel. He will not be wowed by your cause.

Tags:

9CommentReplyShare

mister_punchy
mister_punchy
I Love You But I've Chosen Dorkness
Thursday, April 10th, 2008 09:55 pm (UTC)

Fuckin' A.


ReplyThread
ataventure
ataventure
Allison
Thursday, April 10th, 2008 10:11 pm (UTC)

What happened to the Greenpeace schmucks? I loathed those guys. Whenever they tried to stop me (in front of Central Library, near Pioneer Place, etc), I'd say "Look, I'm an environmentalist. I understand. But a) I'm poor, b) I'm unemployed, and c) I HATE GREENPEACE."

>:)


ReplyThread
littlebluedog
littlebluedog
Tim
Thursday, April 10th, 2008 10:16 pm (UTC)

They may still be out there in force. To be honest, I usually don't really listen to people who solicit me downtown, just give a cheerful "no thanks" and walk by.


ReplyThread Parent
jonboi_net
jonboi_net
This space for rent
Thursday, April 10th, 2008 10:21 pm (UTC)

The cheerful "no thanks" usually works for me. Also, when they extend their hand out for a handshake to lock me down, I tickle their palm with my middle finger. I've done this twice, and they let go in a hurry both times.


ReplyThread Parent
littlebluedog
littlebluedog
Tim
Thursday, April 10th, 2008 10:34 pm (UTC)

Now that is a fine idea.


ReplyThread Parent
danger0usbeans
danger0usbeans
Dangerous Beans
Thursday, April 10th, 2008 10:35 pm (UTC)

Good lord, I hate those guys. I've come to the point now of telling them that I hate children and/or polar bears and want them all to die.


ReplyThread
littlebluedog
littlebluedog
Tim
Thursday, April 10th, 2008 10:43 pm (UTC)

I passed by a couple of the "save the children" folks the other day who were giving their speech to some pedestrians. There were a couple of little kids playing nearby on the sidewalk, and hoping to use their carefree frolicking as a prop, the girl says "See? Aren't children wonderful?" -- at the exact moment when one of them barbarically jammed a finger into the other's eye. It was awesome.


ReplyThread Parent
horror_romance
horror_romance
mega mega mega awesome babe
Thursday, April 10th, 2008 11:18 pm (UTC)

or how about the frazzled mother juggling a diaper bag, a toddler, and lunch? come on, dudes! do you really think i'm going to stop to talk to you?

i also hate the way they word their questions- "do you have a minute to save the whales?" no, i'm a cold-hearted jerk who doesn't have a second to save the poor whales. you got me. i just say the same thing i say to anyone who plants themselves in my path and asks me for money- the truth, "i don't have any money. have a good day."


ReplyThread Parent

(Anonymous)
Friday, April 11th, 2008 01:46 pm (UTC)

I like how I get hit up when I'm running.

Shoes, socks, shorts, shirt. You see pockets anywhere?


ReplyThread