Tim (littlebluedog) wrote,
Tim
littlebluedog

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goddammit

The spam filters for my work e-mail are actually much less reliable than the ones I use for my Yahoo! e-mail accounts. Also, there's always a possibility I might miss something crucial for a client if there's a doubt. So I end up reading about a dozen or so spam e-mails per day.

One of them this morning followed one of the usual formats: an intentionally misspelled product/service description, the link, and then the random text.

Here's the random text:

--

</p>
KNOCK KNOCK
Who's There?


So they go back to her place and have great .Afterwards,
Seansays, If you thinkthat was good,letme sleep for halfan
hour, and wecan have evenbetter Butwhile I'm
sleeping,holdmyballsinyour lefthandandmydick in your right
hand.Kylie looks a bit perplexed, but says, Okay . He
sleeps for half an hour, awakens, and they have even better .
Then Sean says, Kylie, that waswonderful. But if you let me
sleep for an hour, we can have the best yet. But again,
hold my balls in your left hand, and my Dick in your right hand.
Kylie is now used to the routine and complies. The results
are mind blowing.

--

So now I have this odd desire for CLOSURE ON THIS.

What are "the results"? Or is this a joke missing a punch line? An incomplete Dear Forum story? Is it based on something medical, these directions for bidextrous manipulation of genitalia, for having great, mind-blowing    ? I want great and mind-blowing    .

Damn you, Sean and Kylie, for roping me in with this weird yet intriguing narrative, damn you aliciafineran at diehardmail dot com, DAMN YOU ALL. Goddammit.

= = =

EDIT: avulsion clued me in ...

Sean Connery was interviewed by Michael Parkinson, and bragged that despite his 72 years of age, he could still have sex three times a night.

Kylie Minogue, who was also a guest, looked intrigued. After the show, Kylie said, "Sean, if I am not being too forward, I'd love to have sex with an older man. Let's go back to my place."

So they go back to her place and have great sex. Afterwards, Sean says, "If you think that was good, let me sleep for half an hour, and we can have even better sex. But while I'm sleeping, hold my balls in your left hand and my dick in your right hand."

Kylie looks a bit perplexed, but says, "Okay." He sleeps for half an hour, awakens, and they have even better sex. Then Sean says, "Kylie, that was wonderful. But if you let me sleep for an hour, we can have the best sex yet.

But again, hold my balls in your left hand, and my dick in your right hand."

Kylie is now used to the routine and complies. The results are mind blowing.

Once it's all over, and the cigarettes are lit, Kylie asks "Sean, tell me, does my holding your balls in my left hand and your dick in my right stimulate you while you're sleeping?"

Sean replies, "No, but the last time I slept with a whore from Melbourne, she stole my wallet."


= = =
Tags: funny, wtf
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