No one got all 5 - the best answers got 3 correct. Without further ado ...
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1. I was once paid by the state of Nevada to teach college students how to synthesize barbiturates.
TRUE! I taught organic chemistry to undergrads for a few years, and this was one of the experiments on the syllabus.
Everyone who responded thought this was true.
2. I've never had a wet dream.
TRUE! Can't explain it.
Four responses thought this was a lie.
3. I've never kissed a man.
FALSE! My first stage kiss was with a guy, actually, in a play I was in called THE NORMAL HEART.
About half of the responses correctly called foul on this one.
4. I haven't been sick to my stomach in over 25 years.
TRUE! On Valentine's Day, 1976, my best friend Steve Schnurbusch and I were trying to see how many of those little candy hearts we could eat. No yakking ever since that fateful day.
About half of the responses felt that the Seinfeldian nature of this one made it false ... but sorry.
5. I once ran for political office just to ask a girl out.
TRUE! Chicks dig the civically empowered (or so I must have thought).
Only one response called lie on this, so I guess the shallowness of my character really is that apparent. :)
6. I drink at least two gallons of milk per week.
FALSE! I actually really don't like milk. I'd be surprised if I drank over two gallons per year.
Almost all of the responses correctly called this one.
7. Craig T. Nelson once gave me golf advice.
TRUE! I saw him at a municipal course in West LA. My friends and I were teeing off and he was in the next foursome. He pointed out that I was looking up too quickly after I hit the ball. A few weeks later I saw Don Cheadle at the driving range at a public course in Encino.
No one thought this was a lie.
8. During my first visit to Paris, I was mugged twice in 30 minutes.
FALSE! No muggings during my entire European tour.
Only three responses got this one.
9. As a teenager, I liked to pretend I was blind in public in order to get attention.
FALSE! About half of the responses nailed this.
10. I'm rarely happy with my hair.
TRUE, actually. Three responses called this a lie.
11. Once, a few hundred people watched me lay on my back and stick a gun in my mouth.
TRUE! This was also in a play. We used a real handgun. All of the moving parts had been welded together so it was harmless, but regardless, having a steel barrel between your teeth while your finger is resting on the trigger is pretty unnerving.
Only two responses thought this was a lie.
12. As a college student, I liked to speak with an accent in public in order to get attention.
TRUE! I'm a strange kid. This seems evident, given than 2/3 of the responses thought this was true.
13. I vehemently despise the music of Jimmy Buffett.
TRUE! Maybe it's the vapid cheeriness of it, I don't know. I think it started with "Fruitcakes." Half of the responses got this one.
14. I met Bryan Adams years ago in Gresham, OR.
FALSE! I've never met Bryan Adams.
A few years ago, my dad, who is usually not given to making shit up, told me that he'd heard that the Bryan Adams song "Heaven" was written about a girl he'd met from (or in) Gresham, and that the song had originally been entitled "Gresham."
About a third of the responses correctly called BS on this one.
15. For years I've wanted to be a hand model.
TRUE! But unlike George Costanza, I have knobby knuckles and too many veins. But what a cool job that would be!
Again, the Seinfeld reference made most of you feel that this one was a lie.