- Friday night, heed girlfriend's advice not to go for a run, opting instead for drinks and dinner in the blissful, shaded courtyard at Caldera.
- Hang out at aforementioned girlfriend's air-conditioned home afterward and hit the sack early.
- Saturday morning, grab some inflatable plastic and float down a few miles of the Sandy River with some pals (Nic, of course, the aptly-named Sandi, and her youngest, Cody) after fueling up at Pine State Biscuits. Be sure to jump in and/or splash your raftmates often.
- After the drive home and a cool shower, go see Tropic Thunder (awesomely silly) at the Roseway (renovated and air-conditioned).
- Grill up a pork tenderlion and some corn on the cob for dinner, getting your ass schooled at dominoes by the sexy cook.
- Trader Joes strawberry fruit floes. Oh. God.
- Fall asleep watching a DVD.
- Sunday morning, grab the inflatable plastic again, a couple cups of joe, and a bag of donuts, and do another river float with some more pals (Nic again, of course, with Betsy, Steve, and Tori). Make sure to leave the towels and dry clothes in the downstream car this time, and try to avoid passing out from the calisthenics required for manual pumping. Dutifully drink all the gin and juice Betsy prepares for the trip.
- Tots and beer at the Loading Dock at Edgefield afterward.
- Relax and catch up on the Internets when it finally cools down to the 70s.
how to beat the HEAT, Portland edition
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