Tim (littlebluedog) wrote,
Tim
littlebluedog

  • Mood:

apple story

I drove over to the Apple Store at Washington Square for the Mac OS X Tiger release party last night. I didn't have fullerton with me this time to talk to, but I had a conversation anyway.

It went something like this.

APPLE STORE (whispering): Enter me ... enter me ... enter me ...
LINE OF PEOPLE OUTSIDE APPLE STORE: OMG we have no life.
APPLE STORE (whispering): Enter me ... enter me ... enter me ...
CHIPPER APPLE STORE EMPLOYEE: Welcome to the Apple Store! Here's your ticket! Good luck!
TIM: Ticket?
APPLE STORE (whispering): Enter me ... enter me ... enter me ...
CHIPPER APPLE STORE EMPLOYEE: Uh-huh! Scratch and see if you got a prize! Good luck!
TIM: **notices huge scratch-off block on ticket** Oh, gotcha thanks. **enters store**
ENTIRE STORE FULL OF APPLE PRODUCTS: <3 <3 <3
TIM (homer drool): <3 <3 <3
SCRATCH-OFF TICKET: Heh, heh.
TIM: What?
SCRATCH-OFF TICKET: You drove all the way out here for me? Sucker.
TIM: Oh. Well, I guess I thought there'd be ...
SCRATCH-OFF TICKET: What?
TIM: ... a, you know ...
SCRATCH-OFF TICKET: What?
TIM (quietly): ... a sale.
SCRATCH-OFF TICKET: BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!
ENTIRE STORE FULL OF APPLE PRODUCTS: BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!
TIM: **seethes**

SCRATCH-OFF TICKET: Aren't you gonna scratch me?
TIM: Dude, you'll be like one free iTunes song. Big whoop.
SCRATCH-OFF TICKET: No way, come on. Some chick just won an iPod Photo over there.
TIM: Well, okay. **scratches**
SCRATCH-OFF TICKET: **is one free iTunes song**
SCRATCH-OFF TICKET: BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!
ENTIRE STORE FULL OF APPLE PRODUCTS: BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!
TIM: **seethes**


TABLE OF iPOD PRODUCTS: Hey come lookit us!
TIM: Hey.
SILVER iPOD MINI: Buy me.
TIM: I have one of you.
SILVER iPOD MINI: But I'm a six gig. Buy me.
GREEN iPOD MINI: You'll need a green one too.
PINK iPOD MINI: And pink! And pink!
TIM: Sorry, I'm straight.
PINK iPOD MINI: **cries**
iPOD SHUFFLES: <3 <3 <3
TIM: My god, who are you even trying to kid?
iPOD SHUFFLES: **sigh**
iPOD PHOTO: **says nothing; gazes knowingly**
TIM: **walks away quickly**

TABLE OF iMAC PRODUCTS (muttering): Hey, here comes someone!
TIM: Dude. Processor, drive, and monitor in one unit? I'd just buy a iBook and get a free keyboard to boot. Sorry.
TABLE OF iMAC PRODUCTS: **sighs**

MAC MINI: <3 <3 <3
TIM: Ohhhh, so cute!
MAC MINI: Squeeeee!
TIM: And look at all your ports! And so cheap!
MAC MINI: Buy me buy me BUY MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE.
TIM: So all I have to do is buy a monitor for ... what the --?!
23-INCH CINEMA HD (Barry White): Aw that's right baby.
TIM: So, another fifteen hundred for you?
30-INCH CINEMA HD (Barry White on powerful depressants): Unless you want the big boy, yo.
TIM: Three grand?!
MAC MINI: But ... but I'm so cute! <3 <3 <3 Squee! Squeeee, dangit!
TIM: You don't even come with Word!
MAC MINI (nervously): Um ... heh, heh.
TIM: **moves along**
MAC MINI: Oh POOP.

15-INCH POWERBOOK: Hey sailor.
TIM: Oh hey.
15-INCH POWERBOOK: You can touch me. Go on.
TIM: Oh, wow ok.
12-INCH POWERBOOK: Hey big boy, lookit me, touch me. I'm small, you like that?
15-INCH POWERBOOK (mutters): Bitch back off.
12-INCH POWERBOOK (mutters): My table too.
15-INCH POWERBOOK (mutters): I will cut you.
12-INCH POWERBOOK (mutters): Whatev.
15-INCH POWERBOOK (sweetly): Now where were we, handsome?
TIM: Can I check my e-mail?
15-INCH POWERBOOK: You do whatever you want to do, honey.
17-INCH POWERBOOK: Hey there, saw you talking to 30 over there. You like big, yeah?
TIM: Holy shit you're huge.
15-INCH POWERBOOK: That's right honey. But I'm just right. Come on, you like the way I feel?
TIM: I like your keyboard.
15-INCH POWERBOOK: I like your fingers all over my keyboard, luva. Wanna do the trackpad?
TIM: Oh that's nice.
15-INCH POWERBOOK: **purrs**
TIM: Hey I can use two fingers! **scrolls**
15-INCH POWERBOOK: OH. YES. That's a -- OH -- new feature. YES. YES. OMG.
TIM: Damn you're sleek.
15-INCH POWERBOOK: Yeah. I'm like titanium or something.
TIM: The design is so elegant.
15-INCH POWERBOOK Yeah. I'll make your friends jealous, baby. You got cash?
TIM: You are sooooo sweet looking.
15-INCH POWERBOOK: I just need to see your credit card first baby ok?
TIM: What software comes installed?
15-INCH POWERBOOK: Hey, we can talk about all that later ok? Why don't you show me your card huh?
TIM: Wait a sec. I'll also need Photoshop ...
15-INCH POWERBOOK: Sure honey anything you want let's go over and talk to that man ok hun?
TIM: Aren't you coming out with a G5 version like next month?
15-INCH POWERBOOK (nervously): Um ... heh, heh.
TIM: Yeah, I dunno. I'll have to think about it.
15-INCH POWERBOOK (recovers): You do that baby. I'll be right here.
TIM: Yeah, okay. Thanks.
15-INCH POWERBOOK (mutters): He'll be back.
12- and 17-INCH POWERBOOKS (mutter): Mm-hmm girl.



EDIT: sorry for re-posting, I was tinkering with it and LJ lost the entry.
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